NOTES FROM PIPEY'S CORNER

Volume VII Number 2; February 2001

ABSENT FRIENDS REDUX

Why does it seem that winter brings a higher proportion of deaths? In the last month I've done a fair number of funerals - Alan Cranston among them. In addition, the Newsgroup lost one of its best people, Dave Turpen, AKA 'Zudupiper.' Dave was a unique guy - came to piping as an adult, worked his way into Gr.III, and tried his hand at reed fiddling. He wasn't too successful at the reed part, but he TRIED - something a lot of people are scared to do. Besides, he had some of the best piping T-Shirts around.

When he died last week from cancer I was shocked - I'd emailed him not too long ago and had no idea he was sick. Here's to you, Zu - we'll keep your tradition of irreverant T-Shirts alive! As Mark Wygent said when I told him, "...Nobility and grace assume many forms....' I'm sure we all wish Dave were still with us, and our sympathies go to his family.

In answer to the question - not many people want to get married in a blizzard - or pouring rain!

While we're on the subject of funerals, I thought I'd share some 'funeral tips.' Not everyone can play funerals - unlike weddings, you don't get much (if any) notice, so it's not easy to get time off from work. If you haven't done many funerals, there are some rules to be observed:

1. When you're contacted, ask to speak to the minister/priest regarding the service and protocols. If it's a military or civil (police/fire) funeral, you'll need to check with the Honour Guard and firing party. BTW most military funerals do NOT have military Honor Guards any more - all they can get are duffers from the American Legion. Most of these people are past senility and have a tendancy to ramble on at the grave. Their drill isn't worth much, either. It will be necessary to co-ordinate with them, though, so grit your teeth....

2. Discuss the music with the client in detail. Make sure you go over tunes with them. Many people think that 'Amazing Grace' is the ultimate pipe tune. It's not even Scottish. Play it only if you have to. There are hundreds of tunes more suitable for funerals than that. Learn some. 'Mist Covered Mountains,' 'Briagh Loch Eil,' 'My Home,' 'Lochaber No More,' and 'Flowers of the Forest' are all MUCH better music. Almost any piobaireachd will do; 'Mary MacLeod' for a woman; 'Padruig Og' for a young man; 'Old Woman's Lullaby' for a child. This is one occasion where jigs and snappy hornpipes are OUT, so spend the time to learn some good tunes.

3. Arrive early, tune up, play slow airs all through the tuning period. Nothing can put people off than the wrong kind of music. It's bad form.

4. make sure your kit is sombre but immaculate. Fresh starched shirt, pressed jacket and kilt, polished ghillies, clean hose; all required for proper appearance. Take your bonnet off indoors when not playing. Wear an Inverness Cape outdoors in the rain. Save your money and get a wool one if you live in a cold area - you'll use it, and they're distinctive.

4. In general I charge the same for a funeral as for a wedding, mainly because of the loss of shop time. As with weddings, you probably won't know anyone at the service, so don't hang around once you're done. If you do know the deceased it's another matter. In the first place, it's difficult to keep your composure when you know the 'main character' in the exercise. Try not to think about them too much - it will throw off your playing if you do. Stay detached. I recently played my next-door neighbor's funeral, and it was difficult to not 'lose it' during the burial. If you think you're too close to the person, refer the job to someone who doesn't know the deceased; otherwise you might embarrass yourself. I don't know how many times I've seen pipers break down playing for relatives' funerals.

5. When you're done, express your condolences and push off. Don't hang around - unless you know the people.

If you have any questions regarding funerals or any other type of gig, you can always email me at pipey@netwiz.net

On a lighter note, we did our second annual Burns Night gig at All Souls Episcopal Church here in San Leandro with Golden Bough and a host of Elizabethans...what the Ren Fairies have to do with Robert Burns is beyond me, but they were relatively quiet (no blood this time) and the music was good. I piped in the haggis and a good time was had by all.

from left: Golden Bough entertains; Kevin incredulous at learning the haggis recipe; Karen cute in her new plaid; Kathie glad it's ALL OVER....

Speaking of T-Shirts, we're now proudly offering our own wild and wacky shirts at games and on the net. Pix will be up soon on the T-SHIRTS page. Karen's working away at the 'Three Graces of Piping' shirt that will be R-rated....a version of Zu's 'funeral' t-shirt will be reissued by us, with proceeds going to the American Cancer Society.

THE WUSPBA AGM - THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN!

Black Part rowed all night to get to Lost Wages for the AGM, but it was all in vain as the members present rejected virtually every solo piping amendment, particularly those amendments in favour of 'premier' contests and absentee ballots for elections. The association DID vote to adopt the ANAPBA guidelines, but delayed implementing them until 2002. In addition, the association violated its own bylaws by voting in officers virtually by acclamation, with NO notice of nominees published in the Dec. 1st newsletter. WHO DROPPED THE BALL - AGAIN?

I can see the ghost of Tail Gunner Joe MacCarthy screaming, "POINT OF ORDER!!!" in the distance.

WE FEEL that failure to recognise the importance of absentee balloting reduces 90% of the solo piping and drumming members to tacit bystanders in the world of competition. This is an IMPORTANT ISSUE which has been too long neglected; we'll have more to say about this through the year. We don't care about the motivation behind disenfranchisement; we CARE that solo members have NO say in their governance UNLESS they attend an expensive AGM in Nevada. This means that solo pipers will remain the 'hanging chads' on WUSPBA's card....and we don't even live in Florida!

THE LEAST the Executive and Advisory Boards could do is consider rotating the venue for the AGM - providing more input from different regional membership. Denver, Salt Lake, Phoenix, LA, and San Francisco are all major regions and piping centers - why not rotate the AGM between these cities?

In regard to 'premier' competitions, as Black Part said, 'Isn't EVERY contest a premier competition?' By rejecting top-level competitions with 'Scottish style' requirements (six tunes, timing lights, and the rest), WUSPBA has shown that they don't want to stand in the circle with PPBSO and EUSPBA regarding important events like the USPF and, the Metro Cup. WAKE UP and realise that this demeans the quality of solo piping and drumming in the WUSPBA area.

WE STRONGLY URGE YOU to take issue with the committees regarding absentee ballots and the right to have a say in the governance of the organisation. Otherwise, why don't they just drop the whole issue of solo membership, and the administration of solo competitions?

There will be more below from Black Part.

I was hired to be a 'technical piping consultant' for a Nash Bridges episode - I know now why filming is like being in the RAF - hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror - NOT!

Had a great time, spent most of it (about six hours) waiting for something to happen. Had to teach Rene Auberjonois (you might remember him as Odo on Star Trek DS9) how to hold a set of pipes as if he were playing them. Not too big on the reality part of this - plugged drones, strong reed in the chanter so he couldn't get a peep out of it! Then I had to wait five hours to shoot the scene; the star was sick, maybe cancelling the shoot, "Well, Iain, looks like we'll all have to come back tomorrow (groans from the crew - chuckles from me)," We finally started rehearsal and shooting at 5.30 pm. Two hours later, two minutes worth of film is done, and I spent thirty seconds doing a 'wild track' sound overlay of bad playing (on purpose) that will be laid in for sound track. I don't know if they're going to use my soundtrack or make something up on the computer, but, hey...

As I said, this show was not big on realism, but it was fun, AND it paid well. If you ever get hired to do something like this, don't expect a lot of sympathy about 'piping accuracy' from production people - they just want to get the shot done and move on, preferably to the comfort of their homes.

All I have to say is, THANKS, DON! - except I caught your cold....BTW the episode should air March 2....

I couldn't close this column without a parting shot - Bill Fletcher in KC sent a beauty:

So it has NOTHING to do with piping - SO WHAT?

BLACK PART - will speak, VOLUBLY when he returns from the WUSPBA AGM!

until next month . . . .