GROUNDHOG DAY

A most peculiar 'holiday,' Groundhog Day provides a meteorological prognostication on the whim of a Pennsylvania rodent. It's even been made into a movie - and they say Americans are dumb...hell, the Great Twain himself first made his name regaling the exploits of a California frog!

Pipingwise I hope you're all beavering (another rodent joke!) away at your practice chanters - that's PLAY,not GNAW - and will be ready for the first major event of the Left Coast games season - THE BOAT. Yes, campers, on the 16th and 17th there will be a rugrat scuttling contest on the taffrail of the Queen Mary in Long Beach harbor.....HAHA! I'm going to try to make it this year, BUT if I don't, be assured that BP himself will hoist the Not-So-Jolly Roger on his bass drone and hijack the old lady to Catalina....NOT!

...AND for those who thought that a kinder, gentler Iain Sherwood had emerged from last fall's various tragedies and blunders, THINK AGAIN. Ol' Pipey's on the warpath, slackers beware! This column begins out FIFTH year of netcasting. Hooda thunkit? I look at some of my old columns and cringe - at others I howl - and laugh at still others....

Okay, sosueme; I couldn't resist another pic of the lovely Miss Osbourn, who will be here for the Dan Reid Memorial in April...line up for autographs now, boyz....

On a SLIGHTLY gentler note, check out Bob Dunsire's new "Bagpipe Forums" at http://www.bobdunsire.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi - definately destined to put the RMMB out of biz! No politics, mudslinging, or crap, just good, healthy debate on necessary topix; lots of good, reliable information for all to share. Free membership, good moderators, it's a winner. Now if I could only get WSOW....

Not to get philosophical or anything, but there comes a time in one's life when everything medical becomes embarassing or painful or both. Yesterday (Jan. 29) I had a kidney stone shocked to bits and it's not an experience I'd like to repeat. While the hospital people were all very kind and understanding, having your nekkid arse dropped into a tank of tepid water and zapped with ultrasound is not my idea of a picnic - even if I was knocked out, taped up, tubed, and subjected to unpleasant procedures too numerous to mention. That didn't include the shaking for two hours from the anesthesia and hurling twice in the night...This makes three trips to the hospital in the last three months; hopefully that's it for this year! If any of you out there have any questions, I'll be happy to give you a full rundown over the phone, including the bit about the incredibly insipid video they show you - the should call it 'So You Want To Be A Rock Star!'

Chris Hossack ran a fairly nice meeting - not many bruised egos and no bloodshed. Contrary to what Chuck Jamison hinted at before the AGM, nobody walked the plank during or after the AGM.

It's official now - REALLY - the WUSPBA is now affiliated with the RSPBA. Our affiliations with ANAPABA are also continuing, but at significant expenditure of funds. I'd like to have a more detailed accounting on these expenditures. Just how many rounds of single malt scotch did OUR money buy at the last Summit? I'd also like a more detailed accounting statement from the WUSPBA Treasurer. A statement was "flashed" up on the viewscreen at the meeting, but the numbers were all so small and disappeared so quickly. And most of the fine tuned ears in the room could not hear what the Treasurer was saying.

A Bylaw Committee has been established! No, I'm not on it! But Ahrrghlaluia! Black Part's message got through to some of the members on the Executive Committee.

The Advisory Committee reports that on future WUSPBA scoresheets there will be a portion devoted to remarks for the "Bass Section". Unclear though is if only the drumming judge makes remarks. Certainly though, the ensemble judge should have some input. Really unclear is if the piping judge has some input. Bagpipes do afterall have BASS Drones. Can we expect comments like, "Bass Drones no in the same tempo as the Bass Drum", or "Bass Drummer not blowing steady tone." Hmmm!

There was not much from the Advisory Committee on the adjudicator program. This entire program seems to be in limbo while members of the committee dream up more "hoops" for candidates to jump through. If and when "tests" are available will the "A" list judges also have to take them? What about a performance test like in the EUSPBA?

Under new business the Gladdens complained that contest sponsors are not using judges from the WUSPBA "A" list. They further complained about judges being used by sponsors for contests and in grades for which the WUSPBA has not approved them. Well, you naughty, naughty contest sponsors! Have you been hiring to many Canadian and Scottish judges? Can't seem to find enough Piobaireachd judges? No action was taken by the WUSPBA on these complaints. (No surprise!) The obvious responses are of course: 1) Contest sponsors should try to hire off the "A" list whenever possible; and 2) Since the "A" list is so small, the WUSPBA should make the "A" list BIGGER. Yes, BIGGER IS BETTER!

The exciting part of the AGM was the discussion and voting on the bylaws and contest rules.

Proposal #2 to allow Grade IV pipers to play in Grade III Piobaireachd contests was rejected. Proposal #4 for Mandatory Band Tunning Time was amended to allow 20 minutes between contests and was passed.

At this point, Mr. Gary Speed, making his first appearance at a WUSPBA AGM as the representative for the Stainislaus Sheriff's Pipe Band made a motion which has earned him the first "Oak Leaf Cluster" award to the Skull and Crossed Drones with a special commendation. His motion was to "table" and to send proposals 5, 7, 1a, and 1b to the Bylaw Committee and Advisory Committee for further review and action. This motion was seconded by Your's Truly. This sent the Executive Committee into a huddle to fumble madly through copies of Robert's Rules of Order.

After lunch, and some considerable arm twisting, proposals 5 and 7 were considered separately from proposals 1a and 1b. Proposal #5 for Branch Sponsorship of Bylaw and Contest Rule Amendments was rejected. Seems that the Northern Branch had an AGM that nobody knew anything about, which pretty well killed the idea of amendment sponsorship. Proposal #7 to separate the Secretary Functions into an Executive Secretary and a Registrar was passed. Under another motion from Gary Speed, proposals 1a and 1b were sent to the Bylaw and Advisory Committees. Again, this motion was seconded by Yours Truly. This motion passed.

Ol' Black Part is pleased to announce that since appropriate action has been taken by the WUSPBA concerning his 28 bylaw and contest rule proposals, that his grievance against the Executive Committee has been satisfactorly resolved. Band and Solo Championships were next, followed by the President's Award to Susan Thornton. Congratulations to all. Keep up your good work!

Kevin Blandford was nominated for President of the WUSPBA and this nomination was seconded. Ol' Black Part moved that nominations for Presodent be closed, which also recieved a second. Kevin Blandford was voted into office by acclamation. Congratulations Kevin! The new Executive Secretary is Amanda Hammond, who seems to have no problem devoting time and energy to the WUSPBA. You are amazing Amanda. Thanks! The new Registrar - well - Ol' Black Part forgot to write down your name. I none-the-less thank you in advance for taking on this thankless job, and I apologize to you for forgetting who you are. You may "Keel Haul" me at the "Boat". To the new Executive Committee: Have a nice, but short honeymoon! Thar be lot's o work to be done, and although Ol' Black Part ain't at the wheel, he be standin' watch!