WELLCOME TO THE YEAR ZERO

So it seems that we've all made it past the Fatal Date of New Year's Eve - at least those of you still here to read this. We can be thankful that our computers haven't crashed, the economy hasn't crashed, the plane didn't crash, and nobody crashed my car on New Year's Eve. HA! Congratulations on us all making it to the Year Zero. Now there's a major feat - 'What did you do on New Year's?' - "I made it to the Year Zero!"

Renews one's faith in humanity, what?

CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR

And we got through that too. Many thanks to all who came to our annual Christmas bash. This year we had the added feature of celebrating Karen's parents' 35th anniversary. 'A pleasant tyme was had by all' - and Lance lived to tell about it!

THESE ARE THE TIMES THAT TRY MENS' SOULS

In a not-so-surprising move our old pal J.P. has fired another blast at the powers in the WUSPBA. Not quite the 95 theses, but it will certainly shake things up in the band association. He has several beefs, all justified, and one in particular needs addressing - the issue of solo competitions. Under the rules, all solo competitions must be sanctioned by the WUSPBA. Numerous events occur WITHOUT the pipe band association sanction; since these events are not sanctioned, they violate the WUSPBA bylaws, and members of the association cannot participate without forfeiting their membership. Catch-22. Time to fix this and other vague provisions of the WUSPBA bylaws. For one solution to these problems, try COMPADA.

KIDS TODAY!

I guess you're all still banging those rocks together - oops, sorry, that's the two Dobbs Ferry Bombers. A true pair of technobabblers. - these guys are what happens when cousins marry through several generations. The latest is that SuperDave claims to have the 'rights' to make Glen pipes, based on the fact that he owns (or rather his boss owns - what do you have to say about that, Sir Boss?) two lathes from the old Glen shop. I happen to know that these pieces of machinery went through two other hands before Sir Boss acquired them. Those other makers never claimed to have any proprietary right to the Glen name - just as people who purchase used machine tools from Bayerische Motern Werke don't put 'BMW' on things they make. There is no 'proprietary interest' vested in a machine tool - it's the person that operates it that counts.

SuperDave claims a direct link to the firm of Robertsons - but he doesn't put 'Robertsons' on his bagpipes, does he??? If he did, I'm sure the heirs of Robertsons would definately have something legal to say about it. All his posturing won't make up for the fact that despite his claims, his product is no better than anyone else's - certainly not according to the Toronto P&D test, among others.

PIPEY'S CORNER

Have you ever noticed, those of you who read the r.m.m.b newsgroup, that those who scream the loudest about their own products are usually those who have the least to scream about? Or is it just my sense of propriety that prevents me from committing long distance pipicide? Hmmm. George Kilgour of Edinburgh - former partner of Sir Boss of Dobbs Ferry in New Yawk - has been making disparaging remarks concerning the state of bagpipe making in America, AND the product that he himself made and sold while living in this country for over ten years. He makes no bones about his opinion of Yankee pipe makers, American players on the whole, their utter lack of knowledge of music, tone, training, humility, you name it, he'll be happy to tell you about it. In no uncertain terms. Using the word 'shite' copiously in his editorial. The 'link to J.B. Robertson' is OBVIOUSLY broken! George has even apologised for some of the pipes he made while he lived in this country - and his former partner still presses on obliviously.

This is the same firm whose most vocal employee makes the 'acoustically perfect' pipe out of Pink Ivory. It seems that Alasdair Gillies was presented a set of these pipes after winning a competition in Yukon, Oklahoma; the maker claims that Alasdair 'loves them' - if so, why does he have one of his students playing them? Why doesn't he play them himself if he loves them so much? The maker also claims his pipes are preferred by Willie MacCallum. If so, why was Willie photographed holding his antique silver Hendersons with the two trophies he won at Oban. instead of these highly touted American mades?

To cap it off, this individual has done a considerable amount of slagging on the internet news group - to the point of driving customers away in droves. I wonder what his employer thinks of that development - or is he, too, one of those who believes that the public enjoys being insulted while they're being solicited? Kind of like a hooker who nuzzles your neck and then grabs you by your - well, you know!

Now, I AM NOT SAYING that this company makes poor quality pipes - on the contrary, they now make an adequate bagpipe. But Greig Sharp, Les Cowell, Jerry Gibson, Roddy MacLellan, and many others around the world make better bagpipes. These makers don't have to get on the net and scream how great their product is, and how piss-poor everyone else's pipes are. It profits you nothing,, no matter how good your product is, if no one buys them, particularly if you're discouraging sales. Let's face it, there's enough negative publicity out there - and I'm sometimes guilty of it, too - so it WILL come back to you if you slag people's products. The proof is in the sales - and the playing. When a piper of note takes the Gold Medal playing his product - and his bloody chanter, too, then he can scream his lungs out; not before.

It makes one think that these puerile vauntings are merely the pubescent boasts of acne-riddled naifs who need to be grounded by their sugar daddies and spanked by lawyers.

GOOD NEWS FOR A CHANGE

News of the Dan Reid - the date is set - May 13. Get your tickets while you can. Announcements will be forthcoming from Lord Ozzie, so watch your mail. The competitor list is going to be outstanding - we'll see who gets the glory. Jack Lee? Bill Livingstone? Sir Roddy? Bruce Gandy? or will Willie MacCallum, the Big Yin himself, begin another phenomenal year with the DRM? The Cameron-Gillies will consist of last year's winner Mike Rogers, ***** ******, and Jennie Hazzard, Colin MacLellan's wife, who did so well last summer at the Northern Meeting. Judging will be Archie Cairns, Ronnie Lawrie, and Angus MacLellan,. Find out at the St. Francis Hotel on Saturday, May 13th!

WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?

Looks like the Central Valley people are planning on a piping competition in June - with unqualified judges and offering cash prizes to amateur players. Won't that look good in the WUSSIE point standings???

We also look forward to seeing you all at Woodland in April, Pleasanton in September - and perhaps we'll be at one or two more games this year than last. To close this month's diatribe, HAPPY NEW YEAR!